O for a Glubbamimp, a Glubbamimp, a Glubbamimp!
by David Kennedy Bird
Abstract: In which the Blogger opens up a bit, makes himself vulnerable… and actually reveals the text of a letter he recently sent to one of his favorite authors.
Here, o most excellent readers, for your reading pleasure, is a letter that i wrote recently to one of my favorite fiction writers. I have withheld his/her name for the sake of privacy, and also, y’know, to prevent a possible lawsuit:
“To the hon. [name withheld], author extraordinaire, generally cool gal… oops… dammit… etc. etc.
“I have followed your career and your growing body of work with considerable interest. In particular among my favorite books you’ve written is that one about the thing where this guy did some stuff, and then something else happened–I was roaring!–and then they all got together, and blows were exchanged, and then that other thing happened, and whatnot. That one was WAY cool.
“Allow me to encourage you, as one Veteran Writer to another, to keep on writing! Don’t ever let the howling disappropation and bitter recriminations of your stupid, utterly tasteless readers discourage you. At least, that’s the approach that *I* take in similar circumstances.
“As you become known around the world, and even throughout the far-flung starfields–even on some of those somewhat rough-around-the-edges worlds like Rhombus 14, where the residents pass the time during their banquets stuffing their tentacles up each other’s noses, making vulgar observations about one another’s sisters, and reciting passages from the works of Throm Nimbus Yourmom, the only real poet ever to have emerged from among their ranks, responsible for such classics as “I Vomit Upon Your Highest Aspirations” and “What? Oh, Shut Up” and “O For a Glubbamimp, a Glubbamimp, a Glubbamimp,” and “If You Don’t Back Away Right Now, So Help Me” and of course the classic for which their race is known, “Don’t Ya Hate Everything That Is of Any Value? ‘Cause I Do”–even, i say, on worlds such as this, as your fame spreads, i hope you will not forget the adulation of your early fans, somewhat weak in the tentacle department, ha ha, ha ha, but strong in spirit and enthusiasm.
“Very Truly Yours,