Why It ABSOLUTELY Matters That You Pronounce ‘Treadknicious’ Correctly
by David Kennedy Bird
Abstract: There are hundreds of thousands of words in the English vocabulary. Treadknicious is just one of them. And yet–quite apart from its fascinating and important meaning–it has a claim to fame that sets it apart. But not a good one. It is almost invariably… incorrectly… pronounced.
Honestly, this may perhaps not seem the most important post ever made to the “All Flockbinkers” blog. Yet it involves a topic close to my heart, and perhaps yours as well.
It concerns the pronunciation of the term “treadknicious.”
I’m going to spell out the sound of how you have probably always pronounced the word. I’m going to be trembling almost uncontrollably as i do so. But…and i’m sure your own philosophical adventures have taught you the same…one does what one must.
[Tred – nish – us].
[An almost uncontrollable shiver passes through the entire length of my body]
No, no, no, no, no.
The word is most decidedly NOT pronounced to rhyme with, oh, for instance, “splednicious.”
Sure, it’s spelled as if the two words rhyme. “Treadknicious.” “Spledknicious.” A perfectly honest mistake.
But they don’t rhyme. Oh no. No, sirree.
The well-known word “splednicious” is, of course, pronounced [spled – nish – us].
We’ve all known that since kindergarten. “Teacher, what a spledknicious lesson you have taught us!” Or, if you weren’t an insufferable kiss-up, “Baxter! I say, you’ve got the most splednicious black eye!” Spledknicious. Three syllables.
The word “treadknicious” is, by contrast, pronounced… and i need to know that you’re sitting down and paying full attention…
It is pronounced: [tred – ka – nish – us].
Did you catch that? I’ll repeat it for the slower ones among you: [tred – ka – nish – us]
Just like that.
You mustn’t slip and leave out the [ – ka – ].
Now, i can hear some of you saying, “Looka here, now, buddy, why’nt ya just calm yerself? Now how does it really matter how we pronounce one o’ them big fancy words? Ain’t it really the thought that counts in matters o’ this here type?”
Bless you, child, but my answer to your well-meaning query is an unambiguous…
[…and here the Blogger goes into an uncontrolled coughing fit, holds up one finger as if to say, “a minute, gimme a minute here,” and eventually assumes command of himself…]
You see, certain things matter much more than they might appear to on the surface. And the correct pronunciation of words is among those things.
Imagine, with me, a world in which people are going about their business, pronouncing words however they like, making the most awful sounds with their mouths, horrid successions of noise trailing out from between their lips on a regular basis. Can you imagine anything more like what will doubtless be going on when the world is brought to its end and we are all subjected to the Final Judgment?
The dissolution of all things! The blackness of the very last night! Chaos and abaddon, with darkness upon the face of the deep and spiritual wickedness in the heavenly places!
We can, in our own little way, fight back these cosmic influences–at least for a while–by pronouncing our words correctly. And we can start with the correct pronunciation of the word, “treadknicious.”
I leave this very important matter in your capable hands, o my dearest reader.