In Which the Blogger Learns that a Photographer Is Not the Same Thing as “Being Stupid.”
by David Kennedy Bird
Let’s just be honest. Odd things happen, from time to time, on this blog.
The Good Reader: Odd things happen routinely on this blog. In fact, i think it’s safe to say that if something is found on this blog, it is by definition an odd thing.
The Blogger: [being all sly and stuff] Ah! But, The Good Reader, YOU are a regular on this blog.
The Good Reader: Hrrmmmff. [disappears in a puff of virtual smoke]
As we were observing a moment ago, it is not unusual for unusual things to happen on this blog. Usually. This means that, as a reader of this blog, you must not be surprised no matter WHAT happens. Indeed, the good reader will quickly discern…
Waittasecond, who are you? YOU’RE not The Good Reader!
The Photographer: I don’t know what you mean. I’m an excellent reader!
The Blogger: That’s not what i meant. You see —
The Photographer: I read all the time. I’ve even been reading your blog lately.
The Blogger: That’s terrific! But what i —
The Photographer: I don’t have any trouble reading, and i’m mildly insulted that you would imply that i can’t read.
The Blogger: That’s not what i meant at all! I simply —
The Photographer: I’ve been doing all of my own reading since i was 26.
The Blogger: There’s no doubt of that.
The Photographer: I intended that as a joke. Of course i could read when i was 26. Geez.
The Blogger: Right. Um. So, okay, here’s what i’m trying to say. The expression ‘The Good Reader’ as used on this blog is how i characterize my readership in general, and sometimes, ahem, one of my regulars in particular.
The Photographer: Ah! I get it. And i’m not him.
The Blogger: Her. At least, i think it’s a her. When it comes to the readers of this blog, you can never be 100% sure what you’re dealing with.
The Photographer: If it helps, i’m a her as well.
The Blogger: Excellent! And i can see from the script we’re both embedded in, that you’re a photographer.
The Photographer: What?
The Blogger: A photographer. Someone who takes pictures.
The Photographer: I know what a photographer is. I meant, what script are you talking about?
The Blogger: The script that we’re both embedded in.
The Photographer: The script that we’re both embedded in…
The Blogger: The very one.
The Photographer: Either you’re attempting to be poetic, or your doctor probably needs to change the dosage.
The Blogger: Heh heh. That was clever. Tell you what: this little discussion of the script is throwing us off the point. Maybe we should leave that to one side for now.
The Photographer: No argument from me.
The Blogger: So, Photographer, what brings you to my little blog?
The Photographer: I thought it looked really interesting. Philosophy and flockbinkers and unicorns and strange conversations and funny quizzes: it’s my kind of entertainment.
The Blogger: Wow, that’s great! And you’ve been able to keep up?
The Photographer: Able… huh? Able to keep up?
The Blogger: You know. You’ve been able to track with us. You’ve understood everything. You haven’t felt left behind.
The Photographer: I’m a photographer. That’s not the same thing as being stupid.
The Blogger: Oops. Right. Heh heh. Of course.
The Photographer: And i’m also an artist. I create abstract images using photographs as raw material.
The Blogger: That sounds impressive! I imagine that sort of thing must require a certain kind of intelligence.
The Photographer: Oh my gosh, did you just patronize me in the most appalling way imaginable?
The Good Reader: Don’t feel too bad. He does that kind of thing to me all the time. All. The. Time.
The Photographer: Really? And you put up with it?
The Good Reader: Not exactly. He’s got some battle-wounds. Ask him about it.
The Photographer: You go, girl! Well, anyway, here’s what my work requires of me, and you, Blogger, can decide whether you think it involves ‘intelligence.’
The Blogger: Fair enough. Lay it on me.
The Photographer: I select one or more photographs, not just for content but for texture, line and color, and i create a geometric matrix within which the visual field is structured using the elements of the photo as source material, analyzing the raw content in terms of not just line, color, texture and subject-matter, but also positive and negative spaces, patterns of energy and movement, reconstructed form, and i shape all of that into re-visioned aesthetic structures while trying to, at some level, respect the integrity of the source material.
The Blogger: . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Photographer: Which, i suppose, makes me a kind of visual philosopher. Maybe.
The Blogger: [recovering composure] Jeepers.
The Photographer: Well, you did want to hear about what i do.
The Blogger: Yes. Yes, i did, and i am impressed.
The Photographer: Why thank you.
The Blogger: I must say, these are uncharted waters, Photographer.
The Good Reader: I like this one. I hope she sticks around.
The Blogger: Me too!
The Photographer: Me too! Oh, wait.